What lives beneath...
by Rya1
Summary: After the whole Cell games incident, Gohan's been changing, but is it really him making these choices?
1. The changes...

Ooook here we go, I do NOT own DBZ/GT...although I wish I did ;) This story is kinda baised on well...ok think about it, think of how ruthless Gohan was when he turned SSJ2, sooo I thought, why not make somethin of it...so here we gooooo!!! ^-^  
  
  
  
  
  
Clouds drifted by in the shapes of magic castles, asortments of animels, and even young fluffy children. The sky surrounding these forms of life was bluer then he had ever seen it, and the breeze was just perfect for such a warm day. The grass was soft and cool underneath his body and the occasional butterfly would perch atop his nose for a breaf rest, of course he would soon swat it away gently. He sighed and sprowled out on the cool green blanket, arms resting under his head, warm rays of the sun splashing his young face. He had not come to this area in so long...what with all the taining and battels going on he just didn't have the time. He smirked and closed his eyes and a warm breeze tickled his face and played with his raven hair. It had been one week since the battle with Cell and even now...Gohan was still exshausted.  
  
Krillin had told him it would be good for him to get out and just relax. Have some "self" time to clear everything out in his head. He had seemed a bit stressed lately, or perhaps even...edgy? The other's just assumed it was a long period reaction to all of the previous events, after all, as Piccolo had pointed out many times, he was just an eleven year old boy...well...and eleven year old boy with the power to destroy the entire universe. So Gohan did as told and as of now he's been away from home about two days. Piccolo was the one who recomended the long distance for a certain amount of time because he knew Gohan better then anyone, subtract his Father, and he knew it would be good for him, a time to search within himself and to just relax.  
  
Gohan at first was reluctant to go, he fealt uneasy leaving the group, expecialy his Mother, right after this whole trilligy with Cell, and all of the chaos with the androids before that...he just didn't feel comfortable, but eventualy they convinced him to...but he was beggining to wonder if giving him some "time off" was their only goal. He had even noticed himself how moody he had been lately, answering back sharply, staying in his room alone for countless hours, barely touching his schoolwork even when told, and leaving without permission or without saying a word to his Mother. At first he had surprised himself with these actions but then, in his mind they almost seemed to fit him, who he was and his personality all together. So he very quickly became acustomed to it, but it was obvious the others were not. Mabey they thought the change of additude was just do to stress as well, but Gohan knew it wasn't...it was something else. He never acted heartless really, just a bit bullheaded at times, he would obey most of the time but sometimes he would be reluctant and put up an additude and perhaps say something like "Sure...cause the man of the house does all the work right?" or "If Dad were here you wouldn't make him do this stuff, 'sides he wouldn't wanna do it anyway"...that was another thing that worried them. His frequent use of using his Father in reference. If he spoke of him it was always in a negative mannor. And they ALL knew this was not like Gohan at all...and so did he, that was basectly one of the biggest reasons he agreed to go off for a while, try to clear out his mind.  
  
He then sighed once more and sat up, brushing off his brown tank top, now covered with little stands of grass. He then stood, along while brushing off his black baggy pants and kicked his foot to get the dead grass off his black boot. Another change the others had noticed, which really got on Gohan's nerves considering how much they talked about it. His wardrobe now consisded of tank tops and baggy clothing. Not to mention the large boots, which noone has any clew where he could of gotten them, let alone why he had changed his looks like this. Usualy he wore a nice shirt, mabey multi colored or just one color, but he had never really liked sleevless things, but back in the day he would have NEVER worn such long pants that would drag the ground, making them scuff at the bottom. He also never really bothered to deal with his hair, making it just a wee bit more spikey then usual.  
  
He rubbed his hand over his face then alowed his arm to drop to his side. He stared over the horizen pondering many things and the wind blew at his hair and clothing adding a bit of a dramatic affect.  
  
To everyone else, they were just confident it was just stress, but Gohan knew, it was more then that...much more. It wasn't just his way of behavior, wardrope and hair styling technices that were changing. It was Gohan himself, deep inside. He could feel it, something changing him, the way he thought and judged, everything straight down to how his eyes looked when he'd look at you. They used to be kind and full of love, but now they seemed lost, and lonely, perhaps even a bit violent. Down right confused many times. He shook his head a bit then placed his hands in his pockets, turned, and began to walk down the hill he had been resting on for the past few hours. It was getting late, so it would be best if he went on and found a place to rest for the night, perhaps even catch some supper at a nearbye lake or something. As he walked he continued to think about these sudden changes dwelling inside of himself...  
  
"Mabey...if things don't change soon It may not be best if I even go back.." he said quietly to himself. "I mean it could end up being more dangerous for me to stay home rather then me staying here, besides I'm sure they'll all be fine without me plus.." he then paused and stopped in his tracks, eyes beating in thought. That was right... he had almost forgotten, his Mother was pregnant now and in nine long months of cravings, horomones and sudden bursts of emotion, there would be another one to add to the Son family... His face went sour as he said. "Sure why not, take away one then add one more" he scoffed, eyes glaring and he began to walk again. Even he couldn't figure out why he got so angry at the thought of his dead Father, perhaps it was the fact that he chose to stay away from him, or mabey because Gohan was just sick and tired of death period...perhaps that was it, he wasn't angry at his Father, he was just angry at death itself. He stopped once more and thought then shook his head and breathed deeply. No that wasn't it...I mean yeah he was hurt at the thought that Goku possibly wanted to stay dead rather then be with his family and friends, and Gohan had heard his reason, he was doing this for everyone's good...so why was he so angry...  
  
Might as well think about this later, he really didn't feel like getting in a grumpy mood today, infact for the little while he'd been out here he'd found he was actually in a more, peaceful almost happy mood...almost. Mabey if he just waited a few more days he would be back to his old self, besides it had only been a week since the battle...and he was only a young boy...  
  
"A boy..." his lips betrayed him as he quietly spoke. This phrase built a strong anger inside him. A boy was a defensless creature who normely had a Father to watch over him and protect and raise him. Here we go again.  
  
Father. Goku. Chose to stay. Chose to leave. Doesn't care. Selfish. Selfish bastard. Doesn't care. Gohan winced his face and grabbed his head, mouth open in a silent scream, it was almost as if someone was making these dissicions for him.  
  
Goku. Bastard. Damn Bastard. Don't kid yourself he doesn't care. Damn him.  
  
Who, who was it, he was himself. Son Gohan, little loving Gohan. No now he was someone else, oh forget someone, something. He let out a little whine and dropped to his knees. What was going on...who was he? What was he? He didn't understand, these were his thoughts? His decissions?  
  
His whine grew into more of a moan and he tucked his head into his legs. Something was wrong, he was wrong.  
  
"What..." he asked quietly, to noone inparticular. What was happening. He leaned against a tree, face emotionless in thought.  
  
  
  
  
  
Heehee, like it so far? if ya do, then R&R and I'll post more chapters ^-^ 


	2. I'm leaving...

Weee! you asked for it so you got it, the secound chapter! Woohooooo! ^-^  
  
  
  
  
  
Chi-Chi sighed as she finneshed whiping off a picture frame with her cloth, and placing it back gently down on the coffee table. Her eyes were filled with a gentle sadness as she scopped the picture. It was her little boy...her sweet little Gohan and her gead husband Goku, hugging onto each other. She breathed in deeply, shuddering a bit and she covered her mouth. Her Goku was dead..and she never knew if her Gohan would be the same again. He was so...different, he almost scared her with his changes. She stood down picking up her bottle of dusting fluid, and walked backinto the kitchen. She washed her hands and just stood there, feeling the cool liguid bathe her fragile hands. Her eyes were like glass. Still...lost even. Mabey she was feeling this way because of being pregnant. Yeah. That was it, she couldn't really remember much back in the day she was pregnant with Gohan, so it was a good possibility. And as for Gohan... "I'm sure...it'll pass, it's just stress...it'll pass..." She sighed once more, dried her hands on her apron, and continued her cleaning. Everything would be alright, Gohan would get back to normel, she would, and they'de start a new life...with a new family member. She rose her chin to look at the ceiling, clossed her eyes and smiled. "I'll bet he'll look just like you Goku..." She stood a moment more, then left the room to continue her work.  
  
  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------  
  
  
  
Gohan moaned once more, clutching his head tightly. "No...what's...what's going on?..."  
  
Images began flashing in his head, like lighting, and just as sharp. Images of Cell, and his fists flying, and then Gohan's fists matching them. Their eyes were a devilish red, and Gohan had a smirk that could send shivers down the Devil's spine. This Gohan in the sights was of pure evil, and in reality, Gohan was shaking. This was him? No..no it couldn't be...it just couldn't...  
  
Just then heard something, a voice, coming from...somewhere. "Kill him...thrive on your thirst for blood. It's what you want...you love to hurt...cause more pain." "Who are you!?" he shouted, his hands clenching into fists. "I'm you Gohan, the real you, you try to fool yourself and those around you into believing something false, when you Gohan, you are evil, you can't deniye it, it's true" "Damn you shut up! Stop talking to me!" "You can't escape me Gohan, I'm you" "Leave!!" "Don't fool yourself" "NOW!! Stop it!!!!" And then...the visions stopped..and the voice fled. Gohan fell forward, keeping himself up by his hands. He gasped for breath and dripped heavily in swet. What was that?? that couldn't have been...  
  
His head shot up, his eyes wide. That was him? Who he was?...no..no...He was a killer?  
  
Yes.  
  
He hurt people..and enjoyed it?  
  
Yes.  
  
No..no stop.  
  
It was true..  
  
No it couldn't be..  
  
He fealt like he was arguing with himself...dammit all this was turning him into a skitzo...  
  
He finaly stood up, taking calmer breaths, and looked to the sky. He always fealt comfort looking at it, he'd often done it while being trained by Piccolo so many years ago..he chuckled a bit remembering. He'd often anoy the hell outa Piccolo telling him to play games with him like name the cloud and things. Man...who would have thought the person destined to tame the wild Piccolo Daimio...was but a small boy, and Goku's offspring no less...  
  
Sighing he began to walk. It was almost as if the answer he'd been wanting had just smacked him in the face. "I can't go back...at least not till I find out what's wrong with me...I have to find out what this is...who this is. If it really is making these desicions. I...I have to just stay away..." His fist got tight thinking about this. He was becoming his Father, staying away thinking it would help others. Gohan trully believed it wouldn't be any different and bad things would still happen, whether he was there or not...but for him it was different, HE'D be the bad things happening. He wouldn't be able to live knowing he'd braught any pain, expecialy physical pain, to any of his loved ones. His Mother. His eyebrows furrowed and he look stearnly ahead of him.  
  
"I can't go back"  
  
He began to walk, his destination unkown. Mabey he could journey, even to other planets, anything it took to find the answers he wanted. But he'd need a ship..like a capsole or..something...he sighed and put his hands in his pockets. He couldn't afford to feel bad about this, but he just couldn't tell anyone. Expecialy Piccolo or Krillin, they'de go right after him, and he couldn't have that, not only could they get hurt, they'de just be in the way...  
  
  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------  
  
  
  
Piccolo had been watching him for some time. ever since he'd gone out there, even though he promised to leave him be, he'd had a feeling he'd be needed close by. He wanted wanted to jump out and help when he saw the boy fall to his knees, but then Gohan would just have been angered, knowing that Piccolo had lied to him, and he wouldn't have even been able to get any words out. He sighed watching Gohan walk away..."Gohan...be careful..." He looked down, almost sadly. He never really ever showed his emotions, but they were boiling. He wanted to help him, but he was helpless. This boy was, in their knowledge, the strongest in the universe, and he, a mear Namekian, could do nothing to ease his pain...He clossed his eyes and shook his head. Damn it...  
  
  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------  
  
  
  
As he walked, unknowing to him, a small smirk spread on the boy's lips. He was nervous, confused, and distressed...and loving every minute of it...too bad he didn't sense the young girl perched in a tree right beside him. She was little, 7 or 8, and smiling. Gohan would never see it coming...  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
AHHH! I know! shortness, but I'll do better! I promise Momma! I will! *prack falls* 


End file.
